2010

hi people,
so ............. one more year without him :(.But i think this year is sure going to bring a big change :). We r going to get hitched ! yeas we are and i am scared , happy , nervous , emotional and excited about this.
Well year starting was really bad for us .Something happened and i got all mad about it just couldn't take it. How can i? nobody can take something like that but i know this happened b,coz he was trying not to hurt me and ended up doing opposite:(. That night was like worst night of my life but, he was Thar with me i wanted to hug him nothing else.........
After that it took me long to feel normal and get back to still sometimes it bugs me but i am trying to get out of it . But i wanna tell him i just love him and whatever happens this feeling is never going to change :) never.........
After that we met and spent such a nice time with each other laughed cries smiles and everything.Every time i am with him i am on top of the world i just cant help the feeling .
i love you m (mwaaaaaaaaah)

MISSING HIS VOICE

my M is in dhaka. and its been three days i heard his voice. i am missing his voice wat to do ?
he was having a presentation today (big day )and as i knew he will do gr8 he did also. he was best thr .
he was suppose to be online at 8:30 which means 7 here but he was late and finally got in touch and felt alive i just cant live without him i feel like i am dead without him didnt heard his voice from 3 days and finally we talked and felt like my life is back again . i just love his voice.
i love u M

HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeh i am very happy last month we met 11th and 12th sep was the most beautiful days of my life. i was with him and just was so happy we met after almost 10 months we met last in Nov 2008 and after that now. we still behave like teenage lovers its 3 yrs of our relation now before 3 yrs this was the time i met him first time :). and i still thanks to my stars for meeting him. he is thr best thing ever happnd to me.
and yeh yesterday was my lil sis's b day and he came down i am so happy he made it. thr wr four people me , m , my frnd "h" and my sis "s" . its her 17th b day my god she was a lil kid and now she is 17 . life is just running. we had dinner at jahanuma palace and after that i had the wildest drive of my life ;). and the most beautiful also and today in the morning had to rush to sanchi M was having a workshop thr and after that we had a lil family time with all my family and thn he left at 6 i was like cried a bit(i always do whenever he goes cant handle) and was lying down for long thinking about each moment i spent with him and i just love everything around me whn i am with him. i always smile i just love life when i am with him but as soon as he leaves its like he has taken life away with him............ i think pyaar ka side effects.
i always thought whn we will meet often (which we started now) i will not miss him that much or wont go crazy but its like i miss him more now b coz i know how gr8 it feels when i am with him. I miss his presence and i miss my life when he is not with me. he is the most imp in my life and just dying to be with him forever.he just called me right now that his flight is landed and he is in Delhi now. just a few hrs before he was with me and now hundreds of miles away from me .
i think i shud just close this before i go toooooooooooo emotional.


love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu bebu
ur k

ITS SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE :(

today we were cahtting and after that the toughest part to say gud bye . I hate it i just hate saying that b coz i wana be with him and sleep in his arms hugging him close and he also wana do same but we cant right now and its killing . i hate this goodbye whoever created i knw we will be together again but at this point of time i am missing him like crazy and yeh i just hate to say gud night but i was trying to be the strong one telling him comon i am there only we will together tomorrow again wats the big deal . but inside me its like oh god i dont wana go either "To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live" this is so true.
well life going gud examz r near dont wana study but have to no i will study and yeh he is doing gr8 he is just achieving a lot(touchwood) and i am so so so so so happy for him and soon we r going to meet so its going to be wow obviously i am just waiting my examz get finished and i meet him go di love him so much .
I LOVE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

NEW YEAR 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR............
one more year we started our blog in 2006 actually he started it and i hijacked it . So one more year without him. But as the year start here i am to write wat i am actually feeling. Last year was not that a good year lot of problems, trouble(family) all together but i am hopeing that this year things will change . When i look back i have mixed feeling at some point of time i felt M was not with me ( he was thr but a feeling ) and at sometime i felt that no stupid he is always thr . Lots of ups and downs i mean looooooooooooots of but thn love wins thats wat i still feel and i want to believe. Today we were talking of resolution so i asked him wats his resolution he told me he will work harder and i told him he already works so hard and thn also .the real fact is that i always get insecure when he talks more work and all stuff .why? well b coz if he works more he will be less in touch and thats killing already we people r soooooooo far from each other and on top of that more work . But work is also important na . yeh so we were talkin about resolution and i felt so angry b coz somedays back he told me his resolution and i was so happy hearing that but now he has changed it. Wat is this ?How can he do this ? I hope he dont forget his real resolution . This is the most unhappening new year i did nothing just nothing was sitting and lost in his thought he is doing a party on the barbeque i gifted him on his b day. I am really happy that he is enjoying specially my gift u see i mean its usefull also. And yeh m's new interest is cooking yeh u read it right COOKING that is wow.
M i wana tell you that i looooooooooove u and wishing lot of love ,happiness,prosperity and luck to you on this new year.
Lots of love........... K

Absence from whom we love is worse than death

well today i felt i wana change the title of this blog it shud be only countdown.was having so much in my mind but now not getting words its so tough to put everything in words i guess the title explains a lot. he is doing wonders in his work i am really happy for him . sorry cant write more

WAITING .....................

january was the last when i wrote the blog more thn 4 months and things havnt change much i am still waiting to be in his car or to be with him . Seriously love can make u do anything just anything like waiting for hrs,like wanting to hear persons voice holding hands and dreams unlimited But its not that easy as u can see whr he was suppose to come and meet me in feb now its june and still waiting and everything else is ok yeh we r not talking that much which i am hateing i mean i miss his voice i miss him too much and he is too busy in his work . M got pramotion so now more busy i am happy for his pramotion but hateing him being so busy i am just missing my M . but dont knw waiting for lot of stuff lot of thm are they only dreams or they r going to be reality well i trust him more thn people think i do whn they read this its just that right now feelin lil low but I LOVE HIM love him so much and want to be with him . But waiting for the right time. hey baby if u read this just wana tell u that I LOVE U SO MUCH JUST TOO MUCH

i am back

hey people its really long time almost a year last blog ummmmmmmmm life have changed a lot a lot many things happened in between life just went up and down i mean so much cant tell u well our relation went more strong very strong some big shocks i got but love is the most powerfull feeling i ever felt it is so gr8 to feel that and yeh i am in new job which i am just enjoying so much and now i am in my pgs and exams r near.

m is soon coming to meet me i am very excited for that and he bought a new car soon i will be hitting roads with him. waiting for him

198:LONG GAP

ITS REALLY A LONG GAP I MEAN NONE OF US GOT TIME TO EVEN WRITE ANYTHING .THIS IS BAD.OK SO LET ME TELL U WAT ALL HAPPENED.
HEY ITS FEB SO MONTH OF LOVE AND MY FIRST VALENTINE WITH MY LOVE , I AM SO EXCITED AND MY FR ND A ALSO B,COZ ITS HER ALSO FIRST VALENTINE AFTER ENGAGEMENT SO WE BOTH ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT . HE IS NOT COMING ON VALENTINE AND TOLD ME NOT TO SEND ANY GIFT BY COURIER B,COZ LAST TIME IT WAS ALMOST LOST . ON 14TH I WENT FOR SHOPPING AND BOUGHT MANY GIFTS FOR HIM AND HE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD HE HAVEN'T BOUGHT ANYTHING FOR ME.I WAS SO HAPPY ON THAT DAY WENT TO MY OFFICE TALKED WITH HIM WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH.BUT HE TOLD ME HE WILL BE COMING THIS WEEK .BUT THAN HE WAS VERY BUSY AND HAVE NOT GOT TIME TO COME DOWN .
AFTER THIS THE WHOLE MONTH WAS GOOD AND HE TOLD ME THAT HE IS GOING TO COME THIS WEEK AND THAN NEXT WEEK.BUT HE IS NOT ABLE TO COME I KNOW HE IS MISSING ME LIKE CRAZY AND REALLY WA NA MEET ME BUT NOT POSSIBLE .AND B COZ OF ALL THIS I AM ALSO GOING MAD.AS HE IS IN HIS UNCLES PLACE HE CANT TALK WITH ME BUT NOW HE BOUGHT A PC AND AT LEAST WE MEET ONLINE EVERYDAY AND THE BEST THING IS WE BOTH HAVE WEB CAMS SO WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER BUT,IT IS MORE FRUSTRATING B COZ NOW U CAN SEE HIM AND MISSING HIM MORE BUT AT LEAST U CAN SEE .ON MY WORK SIDE THINGS R NOT THAT GOOD MY FRND R WHO IS THE OWNER OF THE FRANCHISE IS GONE MAD AND NOT INTERESTED IN DOING ANYTHING HE IS TURNED INTO A "DEVDAS"AND I SPEND MY WHOLE FEB TRYING TO MAKE HIM NORMAL BUT I GAVE UP NOW.AND NOW DECIDED TO MOVE FORWARD LIKE WAT I AM GONNA DO WITH MY FUTURE MY CAREER AND WITH MY "M" .
THE PROBLEM IS THAT NOW WAT EVER I DO MY FIRST PREFERENCE IS "M".AND ONE PROBLEM IS THAT I SO THINGS WAT I LIKE IF I AM NOT HAPPY THAN I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY.WELL AND MY EXAMS ARE COMING SO QUITE TENSED FOR THAT ALSO .
ON THE OTHER HAND MY FRND R IS GONE FOR JOB HUNT AND I AM KINDA FEELING VERY LONELY AND MY FRND S WILL GO OUT FRND A IS ALSO GOING TO JOIN SOME COLLEGE AND IN THAT WAY I AM LEFT ALONE HERE THAT IS MORE DEPRESSING.AND THE BASIC PROBLEM IS MISSING M LIKE CRAZY .

239:ITS OKKKKKKKK

He called me in the afternoon and told me that he is not getting reservation and he is planning to drive and come.But then he realised that it can be a big stupidity its long distance and then he has to go back. Then he called me in evening and asked me should he drive and come i said no need. And i know how much we both are missing each other but i its ok.
He said he is very lucky he found me b coz instead of getting angry or upset i was making him understanding that its ok one more week .I LOVE MY BABYYYYYY

240:MEMORIES

TODAY i went to bhopal reached there at 1 in afternoon met a frnd then doen some work at office there. After that i was free and me and my frnd 'a' was roaming and i am telling u it was like moving on the roads on which we two use to move, places,restuarant i was missing him like anything and my frnd 'a' was enjoying this .
i cant face bhopal without him my mind dont work cant help it .

242:LOVELY FAMILY

'M' is in his home town . His family is also there and i spended almost 3 hrs with his family i talked with his brother,frnd and even missed his frnd 'k'.He was so happy with his family that at that point of time i was just wishing that i could be the part of that gathering and laugh with them , talk with them, i dont have words i was so happy seeing him happy with his family. I was watching him and his family on cam.I am really happy. and let me tell he lost weight more happyyyyyyyyyy.
but on the other side whnever i see his family a thought comes in mind that what if his family dont accept me ? and i never want him to make a choice between his family and me i always pray that his family accepts me.

244:MISSING HIM

as the heading is expressing i am missing him too much .And going crazy. He is being too busy we are not getting time to even talk its being so long that i heard him laugh or we talking nicely. When ever he calls me i am like so happy cant tell.But after he keeps the phone he dont even how much i am crying i mean i am really going mad.From so many days its like he just calls me and we talk for some mins.I am not able to work b coz my mind always with him,thinking about him or wana think about him.
Except all this all my frnds are also going through many ups and downs so they all are also not happy so that also making me more depressed.
ITS NOW GETING TO TOUGH FOR ME. he is coming this week but thn also i dont know . i chated with his frnd for long time he is very good and after talking about "m" for so long now u can think how i am

273 : LETTER FROM K

Those days were memorable when we used to talk on phone for hours,Those days were beautiful when we used to meet and look into each others eyes,I still remember the day when we met for the first time ,And I never knew, that day is near where we would leave each other for some reasons, But how much ever you are far away from me,my heart is always with you and your's with mine,And I still believe that one day our love will shine,I'm living on hope that one day u would be mine and only mine.
ur k

299:wat should i do?

last days were good as well as bad. on one hand my office thing is making me carzy and on the other hand my 'm'. from last some days i am behaving very crazily and i am not liking it so i decided to control my feelings which i am trying to . yesterday we talked a lot and i lov talking to him that is the only way i can be with him ,but on the other hand talking late is creating lot of problems. but ..................
today we talked in the morning and thn as i decided i will control my feelings so i didnt called him whole day and whn i do this i become so frustated i dont understand wat i should do or not and then he called me in the evening and then he said 'congratulation' in staying away. i dont know wat he might be thinking ?
but let me tell u it is very tough he may think i am succeded or something like this, but i know wat i am going through . HOW WAS THE DAY I KNOW. I DONT KNOW WAT TO DO?

304:pyaar key side effects

yesterday he called me and we had a good debut b coz when he called me i was talking with my frnd 'v' and he thought that it is not the right time for a person to call me. Actually 'v' is my childhood frnd and was very curious to know abhout 'm' but, again i cant see him getting tensed or upset b coz of me.
But after sometime we were back to normal and finally finally i got to know all his fears relating to me and we discussed a lot of things i just want to be with him but he finally assured me that we r going to be together watever problem we may face . Finally we both decided that we r going to overcome every problem watever that is .Then we saw time it was 4 o clock and we said goodnight finally .
I wasent able to sleep whole night and tears were not stoping not b coz wat he told me, but b coz i was just wanting him to be with me at that time. I know this is crazy but dont know wat is happening with me ? I was not like that my tears were not stoping and in the morning i have so much of work and all but then again my mind was not with me cant help what to do ?
THIS IS ALL "PYAAR KEY SIDE EFFECTS " PEOPLE REALLY LOV IS THE WORST AND THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD JUST THE THOUGHT THAT WHAT IF WE CANT BE TOGETHER MADE ME CRAZY I DONT KNOW WAT WILL HAPPEN IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG . PLZ PRAY FOR US

305:WAITING FOR A CALL

Today the day started as usual and as usual was missing him and waiting for his call all day was waiting for his call and hey he is calling me ok byeeeeeee

306: I WANT HIM BACK

day is started normally with his call i was very happy i am always happy when i talk to him. but in the evening he tried to call and unluckly my mobile was in silent mode so he got very upset and i was like i dont know wat to do i get so worried whenever he is upset or frustated and i am not liking his new job b coz he getting very frustated i just wish that those days should come back .
i want him to relax and also enjoy not like working 24/7 and getting frustated and i am really missing him ,i am missing his laughs , his love, his humor . Havent seen him enjoying or relaxing from so many days. I am trying my best to keep him happy.
He planned to come here and then be with me but b coz of some reason he cant and he was confused and in tension i can never see him like this . I really dont know i was not like that but, now i cant think of anything else i just want to be with him,talk with him and see him happy. I dont know i miss him always the best time is when i talk to him nothing else.

But one thing is sure that i will do anything to keep him happyyyyyyy.

307: 'k' in lov

HI people this is k. This is first time i am writing and very nervous b coz his language is far more better then mine.
ok so let me tell u that M is so sweet he arranged a party for me on 13th he came and i was so happy to see him and with him our frnd A also came . I was so happy that day but, he told me that he got call from delhi and have to join there in next 7 days u cant imagine wat happened with me. I hugged him and then he left.
After that i gone to bhopal to meet him and let me tell u we both met on busy street but i was just looking in his eyes that day it was like some magnet is pulling us.
After that again we met next week. I am really lucky to meet him again. This time we both went to his favourate and let me tell u i loved that .
I AM ALWAYS SO HAPPY WHEN I AM WITH HIM . I DONT CARE ABOUT ANYBODY .
He is working so hard in delhi and getteing apreciated also but let me tell u i am missing him like anything i told in my family about him and they r ready but i dont know now . Everything si so good that i get scared sometime .One day he told me something which he never told to anyone i was shocked knowing that but, i also know that atleast he told me and i respect him for this . I am so proud of him , and so madly in lov with.

330: Happy Birthday, K!

Hogged the phone line since 11.15 the previous night…so that I’d be the first to wish her. We talked and talked…and finally at the dot of the midnight hour…wished her!!! We could not bear to get off the line (since ‘missed calls’ were piling up on her mobile!) but we had to…*sigh* A minute or so…she called again…and she was piling up missed calls again!

How beautiful it is to be in love!! In her words, “a few months back, you weren’t even in my life. Now, you are my life”.

I really am the luckiest guy in the world!!